The start of menstruation is a major milestone that marks a girl’s transition into womanhood. Talking to your tween about puberty might feel a little awkward at first, but your parental guidance is key to making sure she feels supported rather than overwhelmed.
Cynthia McNally, MD, and our team at Evergreen Women’s Health specialize in helping young patients and their parents navigate the changes that come with adolescence. We provide clear information and clinical support through every stage of a woman’s life, from menarche to menopause.
It’s never too early to start building a foundation of knowledge and open communication. Here’s how you can approach the topic and help your daughter feel prepared for her first period.
Most girls have their first period between the ages of 10 and 16, with 98% starting before they turn 15. Physical changes like breast development and pubic hair growth typically begin about two years earlier, which offers a window to start the conversation so your tween knows what to expect.
Instead of making “the puberty talk” a single, high-pressure event, look for natural opportunities to bring it up in conversation — perhaps when a younger sibling asks where babies come from, or while walking down the feminine hygiene aisle at the drugstore. During your chats, use anatomical terms like vagina, vulva, and uterus to reduce mystery and confusion around these body parts.
Explain that menstruation is a normal, monthly function that prepares a woman’s body for the possibility of having a baby in the future. Framing it as a sign of a strong, healthy system helps kids view the transition as another part of growing up, not something to fear.
You can help your tween prepare for her first period by stocking up on a variety of menstrual products at home so she can see what her options are before she needs them. Having an assortment of pads, tampons, cups, or period underwear available allows her to experiment in a comfortable environment and decide what feels best for her body.
Take time to explain how each product works, including how to properly unwrap, use, and dispose of or clean them. This is also a good moment to discuss hygiene, such as how often to change a pad or tampon to stay comfortable, avoid leaks, and prevent toxic shock syndrome, a rare but serious bacterial infection that can occur with tampon or menstrual cup use.
To help her stay confident and prepared away from home, put together an on-the-go “period kit” for her school locker or backpack. This should include a few pads and a spare pair of underwear, but you could also tuck in a small pack of wipes for quick cleanups or over-the-counter pain relievers to ease cramping, depending on school policies regarding medication.
Encourage your tween to keep an open line of communication about how she’s feeling throughout her cycle. Let her know that mild to moderate cramping can be a normal part of menstruation—but pain that feels overwhelming or bleeding that disrupts school, activities, or daily life isn’t something she has to push through alone. If your tween is struggling with painful symptoms or heavy bleeding, reaching out to her primary care provider is a great first step for support, guidance, and—when needed—further evaluation.
